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I really appreciate your list of lies ELA teachers tell! I admit, though, to being a fan of the five paragraph essay because it is a great springboard to teach my competitive speech students how to do extemporaneous speaking. I think the best point you make is how the form can be an effective scaffolding tool. The analogy can be pursued that, in writing, as in real life, the scaffolding goes away when something more elaborate and well developed appears!

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