In one of those weird, fortuitous reading coincidences, I read the following articles back to back:
On MSNBC.com, Why Quitting is Good For You, and on NYTIMES.com, Please Cast Ryan Gosling as Me.
They got me thinking: When do we (teachers) quit? This question has two meanings: (1) When do we quit the profession, and (2) When do we "quit" students?
I remember as I was finishing up my teacher preparation program, one of the instructors said, "When you're done, you'll know it. Don't stay just to stay." I think her point was that when you are "done" with teaching (i.e., you are burned out), you are not doing anyone any favors by staying. You are making matters worse for yourself, your students, and your colleagues.
As I am on leave from classroom teacher to pursue my Ph.D. in English Education full-time, I wonder if I "quit" teaching. I certainly wasn't done with the profession (although schools and school systems is another story), but I felt that I needed an intellectual challenge that classroom teaching just wasn't providing. I'm much happier and fulfilled being a student again and my work has me thinking about classroom practice regularly and I will be doing my research in classrooms. But, did I quit?
This is related to the second meaning of the question: When do we make the decision that we've done all we can with a particular student and the situation is out of our hands? I remember the last time I was challenged by this several years ago. I had an advisee who was a genuinely nice kid. He started off the year strong and unafraid of asking for help (thank goodness, as he was grade levels behind). A teenage boy openly asking for the teacher's help on something academic was not common in many of the classrooms I taught it, so I was thrilled he was so gung-ho.
That stopped though when his chronic absentee problem came back to life. When I called home to his mother, she seemed concerned but resigned to the fact that she had no control over him. I remember one exchange where she said that he was bigger than her and she couldn't make him do anything. I replied, "Well, he's not bigger than me. I can come over if you want." She didn't take that well and it was clear that she was using his size advantage as an excuse. I don't think she cared.
That didn't stop me. I went to the guidance counselor who called his probation officer (oh ... didn't know about that) and I was filled in on the long-standing problems that had been plaguing this student. It was clear quickly that his problems were bigger than me. But, I still didn't give up (plucky, ain't I?), but to no avail. Several months later, I did give up. The problem was so much bigger than me. Every time he did show up I showed him I was happy that he was there and I was ready to help him. The next day (or, frankly, on several occasions later that morning) he was missing again. Everyone - the principal, AP, guidance counselor, ACS, parole officer, mother, brother, aunt, uncle - had been informed, yet somehow he never got better.
It was a sad situation, for sure, and the decision to "quit" him was difficult. I don't like to say "quit" because I never stop believing that a student can do it, but sometimes we just have to prioritize.
At any time, as a teacher, it is difficult to make the decision to quit anyone. For some student, we can do everything for them, but we cannot change them. It is heart-broken.
Posted by: | September 26, 2007 at 09:51 PM
As a teaching in an alternative program, this question comes up on a yearly basis. Answering it never gets any easier, which is how I know that even when it is time to quit a kid, it isn't time to quit teaching.
Our staff applies two tests when discussing how much longer to fight for/with a student for their success. 1) Are we working harder than the student? This is a gut check because every student comes to us with different abilities and background stuff, but when we get the sense that the student is just along for the ride and completely unwilling to participate, we realize it might be time. 2) Is education important to the student? We all want education to be the most important thing in our students lives. However, the greater mess of life has many demands, and for some students those demands are so great nothing in school can compete for their attention. A reading assignment for English just isn't a priority when working from 4-11 (or later, sigh) puts food on the table.
One little language shift to consider, too. We don't quit students. We honor the choices they are making. We work with them for as long as we can; we try to show them paths they didn't consider, options they didn't know about, but ultimately, our students need to prioritize, too. We don't always agree with their choices, even when we understand the motivations, but we do owe it to our students to understand.
Posted by: Matt | September 29, 2007 at 10:10 AM
Very good point about shifting language. Honoring their choices is very important.
Posted by: Tim Fredrick | September 29, 2007 at 10:44 AM
I definitely agree with you when you say that when a teacher is "done" they shouldn't just stick around. I have been in far too many classrooms with teachers like these. In once sense I should thank them for motivating me not to be that teacher when I am in the classroom. However they also contributed to many of my bad experiences in school.
I noticed how you said that you have taken a leave from the teaching world to get your Ph.D in English Ed. You stated how right now you are much happier being a student and I was just wondering whether or not being a student would motivate you to want to go back into the classroom? I think sometime by being in the other's shoe we are opened up to their world and have a better understanding and appreciation for the others. Just a thought.
Posted by: Samantha | October 02, 2007 at 08:53 PM
I am to the point that I dread going to work. Maybe the situation isn't right for me. As a National Board certified teacher, I am making the bucks, but the bucks aren't making me happy.
I think many teachers quit because of the crap in the classroom. I think that is what is happening to me: no parental responsibility, changing dynamics in our location, and most of all, lack of support from the administration.
I don't know what I am going to do, but right now, I have papers to grade and remember that I love my kids and I chose this career.
Posted by: Desiree Carmichael | October 15, 2007 at 04:01 PM
I am an education major, and at this point I can't see myself giving up and quitting teaching. These long nights studying are not for fun, it's so that I'll be able to effectively inspire and teach the next generation of children. What if I can't inspire, or what if other demands don't allow enough time for me to do a good job? I think I'll know if this happens and realize I'm not doing the children any favors by being a grumpy teacher. I wonder what it would take for this to happen? Right now, the sky is the limit, I have yet to be discouraged. But it happens all the time. 50% of teachers, most with aspirations as high as mine, quit in a few years. The reasons for this should be looked at immediately and seen as the the first step for reforming our education system.
Posted by: Sara Nitschke | October 15, 2007 at 07:44 PM
In response to what Desiree said, maybe we should try not to be so heart broken about the students we have to "quit." I agree that it must be so hard to have to deal with the discipline problems every day. Some students just don't want to be students. Maybe we should respect that decision and tell ourselves that just because education was our road to enlightenment, doesn't make it true for everyone.
Posted by: Heidi | October 23, 2007 at 10:38 PM
I've wanted to be a teacher since the third grade. I am two months into teaching and I want to pull out. I know the first year is hell, but I think it's more than first year blues. I question if my foundation of content is sturdy enough or my set backs (disorganization, being a scatter brain, difficulties with being consistent, unhappiness, and still trying to figure out "who I am")can withstand the harsh blows of middleschool teaching. Will I go down in history for the shortest teaching career? I don't want to be a quitter, but I don't want to be unhappy. Maybe I need more time or do I? I feel lost almost like I'm a foreigner and I'm scared that my feelings are reflecting in my attitude and presence. I won't lie quitting would feel like heaven (weirdly enough), but would I be quitting because I'm scared or because the students deserve a more confident educator who can present a rigourous lesson and manage the class at the same time; two things that I have not succeeded in....(I think)
HELP!?!? How do I know when to leave? I don't mean leave the profession, but leave to grow and then to see if it's a right fit. I'm so confused!
Posted by: RCJ | October 26, 2007 at 09:22 PM
I've wanted to be a teacher since the third grade. I am two months into teaching and I want to pull out. I know the first year is hell, but I think it's more than first year blues. I question if my foundation of content is sturdy enough or my set backs (disorganization, being a scatter brain, difficulties with being consistent, unhappiness, and still trying to figure out "who I am")can withstand the harsh blows of middleschool teaching. Will I go down in history for the shortest teaching career? I don't want to be a quitter, but I don't want to be unhappy. Maybe I need more time or do I? I feel lost almost like I'm a foreigner and I'm scared that my feelings are reflecting in my attitude and presence. I won't lie quitting would feel like heaven (weirdly enough), but would I be quitting because I'm scared or because the students deserve a more confident educator who can present a rigourous lesson and manage the class at the same time; two things that I have not succeeded in....(I think)
HELP!?!? How do I know when to leave? I don't mean leave the profession, but leave to grow and then to see if it's a right fit. I'm so confused!
Posted by: RCJ | October 26, 2007 at 09:23 PM
I've wanted to be a teacher since the third grade. I am two months into teaching and I want to pull out. I know the first year is hell, but I think it's more than first year blues. I question if my foundation of content is sturdy enough or my set backs (disorganization, being a scatter brain, difficulties with being consistent, unhappiness, and still trying to figure out "who I am")can withstand the harsh blows of middleschool teaching. Will I go down in history for the shortest teaching career? I don't want to be a quitter, but I don't want to be unhappy. Maybe I need more time or do I? I feel lost almost like I'm a foreigner and I'm scared that my feelings are reflecting in my attitude and presence. I won't lie quitting would feel like heaven (weirdly enough), but would I be quitting because I'm scared or because the students deserve a more confident educator who can present a rigourous lesson and manage the class at the same time; two things that I have not succeeded in....(I think)
HELP!?!? How do I know when to leave? I don't mean leave the profession, but leave to grow and then to see if it's a right fit. I'm so confused!
Posted by: RCJ | October 26, 2007 at 09:24 PM
In becoming a teacher, I always think how I want to make a difference in my student's lives. But I don't know the best way to do that, and I probably won't ever know because it will be different for each student. "When do we make the decision that we've done all we can with a particular student and the situation is out of our hands?" What I've never thought about though is when there is a student like who you talked about that you just can't help. I don't know what how I'll be able to stop trying or when to realize that I need to stop trying because it's really up to him to change. It's going to be hard to know when to let go.
Posted by: Katie | November 09, 2007 at 02:26 AM
Well, I’m an education major right now, training to be a teacher, and I thought your story was quite interesting. As for being a student for nearly my entire life, like most people, I can see when teachers are going through dilemmas, or if they don’t want to be where they are, or if they just plain don’t like teaching anymore. I must agree that there definitely is a time to quit, and that time is when you feel it’s right. From the student perspective, you can learn a lot by the burned out teacher, but it can also hurt you or your motivation to learn by having one.
Sometimes quitting your job can be a good thing, sometimes like in your case, it just means moving onto something you like better, or for bettering yourself. Quitting on, or giving up on a student is something completely different. I want to become a teacher partially so I can change students’ lives for the better, so your story really compelled me to think about those situations more, and I hope I can have the courage to live up to life’s expectations of me there.
Posted by: Michael Faurie | November 21, 2007 at 05:39 PM
i was asked yesterday by the AP if i quit on one of my students. i was insulted. but i thought to myself- is that how it appears? am i perceived as being yet another frustrated teaching close to his limit? i have to reevaluate my methods.
Posted by: BK Teaching Fellow | January 19, 2008 at 01:33 PM
I am an education major, and your story really interested me; I, too, was a frequent absentee from high school, but it was due to both physical and mental health issues. I was fortunate enough to have a guidance counselor that didn't "quit" me, and, academically speaking, this helped. However, the "bigger problems" I faced were deeply personal issues that I had to deal with on my own and were far over the heads of my teachers... which is fine, it's to be expected. I only wish my teachers had acted as you did AFTER you "gave up," showing the student you were happy he was there and ready to help. Despite that, I still made it through high school.
The difference between my story and your student's is that I was not going to quit either. I think that as educators we can only go so far and do so much, and it is up to the STUDENT not to quit us or themselves.
Posted by: C. Ashley | January 24, 2008 at 05:27 PM
I am currently a student working to become a teacher. My field of expertise is automotive service and technology. When I was going to school to become a mechanic, many of the students I worked with were similar to the student that you talked about. It was disappointing to me because as a student I saw a lot of potential in some of them; I cannot imagine how my instructors felt. I was never really able to tell if my instructors had given up on, or prioritized, them or not. Now that I am in the process of becoming a teacher I have done a little bit of assistant instructing and I am seeing new faces and new potentials and inevitably some of them are going to end up like the student you discussed. I just wonder, is there any way to cope with that feeling of failing your student. In your experience how did you deal with the situation after the fact but before you pursued your doctorate?
Posted by: Nicholas Michalek | February 14, 2008 at 03:43 PM
I imagine it is the hardest thing, having to “quit” a single student after months of hoping for him or her. As an education major, I dread being discouraged by situations like you described, and even worse, being surrounded by teachers who “quit” all their students. It must be really difficult to keep that passion that brought you to teach when the environment around is mostly negative. Throughout my years in school, I’ve sat in plenty of classrooms where I could tell the teacher felt empty teaching at the school. Students pick up on that and start feeling like their own education is empty. I agree with you that once teachers are done with teaching in their heart, it is definitely time to get out- for themselves, but mostly for the students.
Posted by: Teresa Nowell | February 18, 2008 at 05:23 PM
One of the last things you said, "I don't like to say 'quit' because I never stop believing that a student can do it" shows that you never "quit" on the student. I feel that as long as you continue to embrace the possibility of success, and do not leave the student behind, that is, write them off, you do not quit. The very fact that you continue to think of that student shows your refusal to "quit."
In a previous comment, Matt wrote, "We don't always agree with their choices, even when we understand the motivations, but we do owe it to our students to understand." I agree, but just because we understand their, student's, motivations does not mean we must lose our hope for that student. Even when actions cease to help that student toward success, we can be positive by not losing a hope of change.
Posted by: Danielle M | February 25, 2008 at 04:44 PM
In regards to the troubled student, I don’t think that you ever actually “quit”, because when he came around you still showed him a smile and were ready to help him if needed. At no point in my eyes and probably his as well did you quit; I would bet that with all of the difficulties happening in his life he appreciated both the smile and the help. I believe the latter questions may be the answer of whether or not to be done teaching, because good teachers will never 100% give up on a student and it is at that point when a teacher does quit that that should be their last day.
Posted by: Chaas | February 25, 2008 at 07:36 PM
I can totally understand what you are saying about how you don’t want to "quit" on the troubled student. As a future educator, I can only imagine the different students that I will meet and sometimes I get nervous for those certain students that just seem like they don’t care. I believe that in no way did you quit on that one student. You writing about that student and just thinking about them shows that you have not quit. I only graduated from high school 3 years ago and I remember the kind of students that you are talking about. And I believe that some teachers did quit on those students and I believe that those students get so use to teachers, parents, and adults quitting on them that when a teacher actually tries to show that they care, they don’t even notice. I think that it is important as teachers to never give up and I commend you on your efforts. I can only hope that I can do the same when I become a teacher. Even though it seems like your efforts didn’t change that one student, it may help another troubled student. Don’t ever quit on students because when teachers start quitting there students, I believe there is no hope left. I loved your blog. I look forward to reading more and learning so I can become the best teacher I can be!
Posted by: Sheila | February 25, 2008 at 11:13 PM
Tim,
This aspect of teaching has to be the worst. Although I am only currently working towards my degree in education, I have experienced similar situations when tutoring different individuals. At least these students are already seeking help and obviously have some desire to improve. But, I agree that watching these students give up is one of the hardest things. I want so badly to have them discover their ability to succeed, but there does come a point where you have to let them make their own decisions about their education. I would never condone giving up on a child, as teachers we must constantly believe that our encouragement and effort will help to turn a student toward success. As a teacher I need to be persistent and happy with my student’s educational advances.
Knowing when to quit, as in terms of a job is important too. I remember many teachers in high school who well overstayed their time as teachers. They were unconnected with students and other faculty and in no way were eager to advance education in student’s lives.
-Kyle Knee
Posted by: Kyle Knee | February 26, 2008 at 01:58 AM
I remember students like that when I was in school. I'd hear these stories about them that I only hoped were false. The sad realization is that there are kids just like you described, and there isn't anything you can really do about it. It raises a lot of questions and statements to help you deal with it, but in the end, we all have to realize that we can't fix or teach everything. I think your blog will help me later on when I actually start teaching because I'll be able to know that I should talk to the counselors, principals, parents, etc. to find out what the problem with a certain student is. I've always been a big advocate for trying to know your students so that you can teach them better, and knowing the problems that they face is a very powerful tool in making that break through.
Posted by: Bobby Crossen | February 26, 2008 at 10:57 PM
I think as a young aspiring teacher it's important to learn that even though we all come into teaching thinking we are going to change the world that its unrealistic to expect. I have a friend who sounds like your former student. He was kicked out of our grammar school in 7th grade and struggled to make it to high school. He eventually dropped out because his parents couldn't keep him there and he had no interest in going forward in school. After a few years of doing nothing and jumping around from job to job he finally realized he needed to change. He just graduated from Job Corp. and finally got his GED. It took me and all my friends to help motivate him to succeed and complete his training but he finally got it done. I think it’s important for teachers to realize that sometimes something’s are just out of their hands. This is not to say teachers should not try and help but they should not look at it as quitting. Sometimes its up to the person to change and luckily for my friend he realized it was time to change, now he is thinking about going to college, which is something 5 years ago he would have never imagined he would be thinking.
Posted by: Brian Mueller | March 04, 2008 at 05:36 PM
I can recall hearing a past high school teacher of mine saying the very words “ I wish I could quit you” in reference to her teaching position. I asked her why she didn’t quit if she felt this way. She looked at me and said one day you will have children and have to provide for them. This woman had clearly “quit” teaching a long time ago, and due to the lack of passion for her job had “quit” her students as well. I resent people working jobs that they have no passion for. Once teachers become “burned out” and continue teaching they are doing all parties involved a major injustice. After all there are plenty of other individuals looking to fill the position that they loathe so much. As far as quitting on the students, I pray that once “I’m done” with teaching I will recognize it and chose to move on, instead of having my students sit through lessons that neither of us are in high spirits about.
Posted by: Bianca Brown | March 04, 2008 at 07:32 PM
I can recall hearing a past high school teacher of mine saying the very words “ I wish I could quit you” in reference to her teaching position. I asked her why she didn’t quit if she felt this way. She looked at me and said one day you will have children and have to provide for them. This woman had clearly “quit” teaching a long time ago, and due to the lack of passion for her job had “quit” her students as well. I resent people working jobs that they have no passion for. Once teachers become “burned out” and continue teaching they are doing all parties involved a major injustice. After all there are plenty of other individuals looking to fill the position that they loathe so much. As far as quitting on the students, I pray that once “I’m done” with teaching I will recognize it and chose to move on, instead of having my students sit through lessons that neither of us are in high spirits about.
Posted by: Bianca Brown | March 04, 2008 at 07:32 PM
I am going to be a future teacher, I have thought about the possibility of quitting. I wonder what if I feel as if I am failing the students or what if I just don’t like teaching after a few years. I often contemplate whether or not I would quit altogether or just quit on the students. It rather scares me to think about. I also think about students like the one in your post, who doesn’t have parents who care a great deal. I want to be they type of teacher they can go to, yet I know that when they don’t put in the effort I will become frustrated. Thanks for the post, its really made me think even deeper.
Posted by: Mike | March 07, 2008 at 03:11 PM